Currently listening to: Irresistible by One Direction<3
At some point , i feel like people are using me. Once they got what they need, they leave. why? i've been through that lots of times. At times i wonder, why me? why can't it be anyone else? is it because i care about people? Its true, i do notice that i always put people's happiness before mine. I don't even know why. I tried to avoid it, but somehow i can't. From the outside, i look happy and weird, lame and all but deep down, I'm hurt. At times, i would call my sister and tell her all my problems that I'm facing through. It hurts so much. there would be at times i would sit and cry because i can't take this anymore. why do i end up getting hurt? I notice that all the people who are very important to me are leaving me somehow. I don't want that. I've had enough! My sister keeps telling me, come here and you'll be able to start fresh. I rejected my dad's offer to send me to London for boarding school. The reason? because i can't leave all my loved ones here. Yes, it would fun to go to a boarding school in England and live with my sister, but i wasn't ready. I rather suffer now, because i know my future will be good. At this moment, i can't wait to graduate and study in UK. What i want now is just to start over. I want to stop crying everyday. I want to avoid it. Before i sleep, i pray and hope the next day will be good, but it still remains the same. ugh. I want to runaway from this shit hole and go somewhere no one could find me.
Home, is where i can be myself. well, not really. I do let out my anger at home because i've had enough. All i want, is my family because they're the ones who knows who i really am. I just want the people who appreciates me around. What did i do to deserve all this? All i want is to have a good life.For once in my life, i want to be happy, please?
It hurts, so much...
